Craigslist Funnies

So the following is a post found on Craigslist in California under the 'Wanted' ads. It had me rolling on the floor! Take a look:

Wanted: Military Tank (Culver City)
Reply to: sale-jd7x2-1130740607@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Wanted: One fully functional military tank. Ideally an M1A2 Abrams model, with or without the 120mm canon upgrade—preferably with.

It is absolutely necessary that the tank feature the following: An embedded version of the US Army's Force XXI command and control architecture, new Raytheon commander's independent thermal viewer with second-generation thermal imager, commander's display for digital color terrain maps, DRS Technologies second-generation GEN II TIS thermal imaging gunner's sight with increased range, a mini-fridge, and a bathroom.

I am willing to trade my ’90 Toyota Corolla—straight across. There is a dent in the front right bumper from when I accidentally jumped the curb and hit a bike rack. That also messed up the alignment a little, so it pulls to the right now. Other than that, it’s fine. (pictured below)

I live in Culver City (right next to Beverly Hills) in Los Angeles, so I’m looking for a seller fairly close to me, as I don’t want to have to take the tank on the 405 or the 10 since its top speed is probably only 45mph.

Please respond with answers to the following questions:

•How many 120mm canon rounds come with the tank? (And do you know where I can get more?)

•I’ll be using the tank as my daily commuter. Is it registered in CA?

•Has the tank seen previous combat? (I don’t want one that’s been previously shot at or blown up.)

•How many miles per gallon does the tank get? Both city and hwy?

•Does the tank come with the optional flame thrower turret (pictured)?

•And finally, does the tank come with crewmembers? Considering I will be the commander, I will need to fill the driver, gunner, and loader positions. If the tank you’re selling comes with a crew, all the better. Though I’ll likely evaluate them myself.

Serious offers only. Thank you.
Location: Culver City
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests