The Blue Streak

I have several pet-peeves like slow people in the left lane, not filling up the Brita when you put it back in the fridge, and not rolling down the plastic bag inside a box of cereal when you close the top (I got that one from mom! Ugh thanks!) But…overall there are not too many things that I can’t just get over in a matter of minutes….until this morning. This morning my blood was boiling!

To set the scene: I leave out of the front gate of our apartment this morning at 5:15. I wait at the stop light in front of our complex to make a left onto Randolph Rd. so that my happy little Honda can get me to the office. I wait no longer than a minute and finally get my green leading arrow. I begin to pull out into the intersection to make a left onto the four lane road, and ….zoooooommmm – there goes a 5 series, royal blue BMW coming from my right, headed in the same direction I was turning. “I know you have a nice BMW but what gives you the right to run that red light and almost hit me?! Sure you could probably replace my car, but I like to think that if you hit me, you can’t replace me!!!!” Let’s just say that my devil horns started popping out and out of natural instinct I had to see who it was that thought they were special enough to ignore my law given right to have the intersection during my leading green light.

I sped up to try and catch this crazy person. As I was approaching the royal blue streak zipping down 4th street, I noticed them swerving back and forth over the yellow line. Immediately I thought: drunk-ass. (Hey, it is only 5:15am – I wouldn’t put it past someone!) So I stayed back until the stoplight at Charlottetown Ave. I slowly crept up beside the drunk driver so they hopefully wouldn’t notice I wanted to stare a hole in their forehead. As soon as I was parallel with their car I was irate! A late 40’s, fake blonde with bad bangs putting on her make-up in the tiny mirror of her sun visor! You have to be kidding me! You almost killed me so that your face can “try” to look good! FREAKIN SERIOUS! "Hey lady, you think you can find the right shade of eye shadow to match a bright orange jumpsuit after they put you away for killing someone? It doesn’t matter how much your eyelashes are curled when you are the only one that sees them all day -besides the lesbian in the cell with you!"

Well after that it only got worse. We followed each other all the way down 4th street. We both made a left onto Mint Street. We both pulled into the parking deck and we both parked on the same level. We both got out of our car and we both grabbed our purses and lunch, and we both walked almost hand in hand across the street, down the stairs and right to the front door of the Duke Energy building. She was still oblivious she had done anything wrong (and she was oblivious that her make-up looked like sh*t! Should have spent that extra five minutes at home lady!) I walked up to the door first, opened it just enough for me to turn sideways and squeeze through it, and the following with my trailing hand, I pulled it closed behind me. The heck if I am holding the door for you woman! Let’s just hope we don’t meet in the cafeteria today because I will find something to do with that piece of cake on the buffet bar!

Long Story Short: My biggest pet peeve right now - DON’T PUT YOUR MAKE-UP ON WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING! There is no way you were that late to anywhere you were going that you couldn’t finish your make-up at home. If it takes you that long that it’s going to make you late, YOU WEAR TOO MUCH!