So this isn’t a “hate” post or a post directed at anyone in particular (and I really feel bad about expressing my opinion on this) but it is what’s on my mind right after reading several other blogs this morning and now it’s just pouring out of my finger tips like word vomit on my keyboard…..
Anyways…I am not engaged; not even close… But, I have many friends that are. I am very excited for them and I know this is something that every girl looks forward to since at least her first boyfriend. (I was never the “young girl” that dreamed about her wedding day. Let’s be honest, if I would have planned my wedding when I was six, I would have a full dress with poufy sleeves (no offense Aunt Lori, but probably something like you rocked out!) No one in 2009 can say they planned their wedding when they were six – if so I want to see the pics of that one!)
Well, this isn’t directed towards ANY of my friends. It stems from several blogs I read of some girls I know and some I don’t that just got engaged. I am having a hard time seeing things through their eyes. Someone help me out! This is all probably a complete personality difference in us and nothing personal towards these girls, but I can’t seem to understand why newly engaged chic’s hit the ground running so fast right after they get engaged with planning etc. Does anyone enjoy their engagement anymore? As soon as some girls get a ring on their finger they are stressed over “wedding stuff” and the next weekend they are totally booked with shopping for bridesmaid dresses.
I have been following several of these blogs for months now and before they had a rock on their finger their blogs were interesting - Design tips, new fashions, interesting things they found to do on the weekend, funny things their pets did, family stories, recipes etc. Now, it’s all about “Ah, I am so stressed with wedding stuff. I have to pick out flowers; I have to choose between three venues; I have to pick out bridesmaid shoes. etc. etc.”
Someone hit me over the head if one day I become this way after getting engaged. I don’t understand how hard it is. Pick out some flowers, pick out a bridesmaid dress, pick out venue and roll with it. (Sure shop a while for the wedding dress because beside your husband, the ceremony, and pictures, this is the fourth most important thing :)) But other than that, why waste so much time on it? The wedding industry in America is ridiculously over populated and you are ALWAYS going to find something you like better; you might as well make up your mind on details and move on. Invitations and Save-The-Dates go in the trash when it’s all said and done; you can’t please EVERYONE with the food and you know where that goes in the end (that is, if your guests don’t drink too much and can actually remember the food!); the cake is one of the most outrageous black holes of BLING BLING at a wedding – honestly think to yourself, without looking at pictures- what did your friend’s wedding cake look like? NO CLUE! Also, let your husband pick the band, take care of the transportation details and the bar because those are the most manly things of importance and please make him feel like he is a part of this day too! Marriage = the social institution under which a woman AND a MAN establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. It’s about “two” not "you"!
In the end, it isn’t about what color flowers the flower girl throws as she is coming down the aisle or if they throw birdseed or do sparklers when you leave the reception. Make a choice and move on. It’s about you and your husband making a commitment to each other to spend your life together. Take time on your vows and your feelings behind your wedding and the man you are about to marry. Some girls get so caught up in the “wedding” that they forget about what they are truly in the works of doing. Marriage is not something to take lightly. Marry for the right reasons and marry once. I want my vows to mean something to me and my husband. These are the things I want to be thinking about when a man puts a ring on my finger. I want, when I write on my blog, to have posts that reflect on me and my husband’s relationship and what are lives are about. Get to know more about the significance of this day and not the colors or what they are not going to be! Don’t stress your friends out with stories about how you are soooo stressed over “wedding planning.” It’s only stressful if you let it be. Plus, by providing us EVERY detail of the decisions you have made so far you take away from the suspense of the day. It’s no fun to walk into a wedding where the bride has already told you EVERY detail down to exactly what flower stamp and ribbon were at the top of the program. Please keep our imaginations going until we get there!
Sure, we are girls and around a patio table at Cantina 1511 on a Monday night we will talk about several details for the wedding because it is an exciting time! Just remember that your friends are excited for you too but you will push us away from you or your blog if all you do is bi*ch about planning a wedding. Hey chicka, any girl without a ring on her finger would love to trade places with you right now! Appreciate that you have a man that loves you dearly and who has already made a commitment to spend the rest of his life with you by giving you a ring which allows you to plan a wedding! That’s the important part- marriage, not stressfulness of a wedding!
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