Patience...Gotta Have It

Patience. I have to make it my new practice. Over the past two weeks I have spent too much time focused only on the future and not on today or tomorrow.

I paid my tuition bill on Sunday and found myself lying in bed that night, hoping for this “phase” of life to hurry by as fast as possible so sooner than later I can wake up every morning and adore the career I have ultimately chosen. Patience.

Sunday night, Dustin and I grabbed dinner together at Sundries and our main topic of conversation was the house that he just bought. We discussed furniture, wall colors, blinds, etc. (In my head I know what I want his house to look like!) It was so nice outside that after dinner we decided to go for a little ride over to the new house for me to investigate! It is simply precious and I am so happy and proud for Dustin because what a major accomplishment - he has purchased a house on his own! As we were headed back to Eastover, I started to get a small envious feeling. I wish I could buy a house right now and somewhat “ground” myself in one location. But what if I am not meant to live in Charlotte for the next 20 years in a house I have purchased? What would I do with it then? Would that be a huge financial mistake? What if I meet someone that doesn’t live in Charlotte or what if I take a job outside of Charlotte in another school district? That night in bed, I started praying so hard that all these questions would be answered sooner than later. I felt like I was ultimately praying this part of my life away. Patience

I have been single now for awhile and I found myself yesterday wishing away this time of “waiting” to meet "him" in hopes I can catch up to the rest of my friends who seem like they are taking a joy ride on the “life” train as all the pieces fall into place for them (every single girl out there would be lying if they said this thought has not crossed their mind once!) Patience.

I have to stop. I have to have patience. I have to realize that all these factors are out of my control. This is what God has planned for me and only he knows the reason why before I can see it. . There is a reason that the activities that are occurring in everyone else’s lives, that I long for to happen in mine, have not come alive yet. I have to have patience. I have never been a patient person and this is going to be one of the most difficult things I will do this year. I need to learn to live each day as it is in front of me instead of wishing away the time until I can see things a little more complete and grounded. Patience. I can’t play this time in life as a waiting game. I have to take what is going on now, run with it, and hopefully everything else will fall into place! Patience. I have to learn patience.