I was in Laura and Thunda’s apartment one day and on Laura’s bookshelf she had the book Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. I had just finished another book and needed something else to put me to sleep at bedtime. So, I picked it up, brought it home and there is sat gathering dust for the past couple months. Until last night, I almost finished it.
I don’t care if you think you have the best relationship in the world and your boyfriend loves everything about you. I don’t care if you have the most perfect marriage and your husband is always on your side. This book includes information for all women no matter what kind of relationship you are. Things change, times change and at some point I can almost promise you that the relationship between you and your boyfriend, the guy you are dating, or your husband will begin to change. The little reminders in this book can help you keep that in check and at least keep yourself out of the backseat of the relationship.
Contending that some women are “too nice,” comedian and radio show host Sherry Argov has written Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. “I’m not recommending that a woman have an abrasive disposition,” Argove writes, “The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man.” Her sassy book is filled with scenarios and advice aimed at making women subtly stronger and self-empowered.
In this excerpt from her book, she reveals why men actually prefer a confident, secure woman to one who lets her man take the reins of the relationship. Argov surveyed real men, who spilled exactly what makes or breaks their opinion of the women they meet-and it turns out that having your own life, making your own plans and not letting him win all the time only makes you more attractive. So who says being a “bitch” is a bad thing? Not these guys! Here’s what they had to say:
1. "The worst thing a woman can do is see a guy every night of the week. That's how she becomes his good-time girl on his 'reserve list.' What will happen is, the guy will start coming over at nine o'clock and then he'll leave by ten-thirty. If he gets access or what he wants from her anytime he wants it, he won't have to lift a finger to keep it going."
2. "Men are competitive. When he buys a car that is a limited-edition model, he feels like he has something special. Guys in the street who race cars usually race for pink slips, because they want to win, conquer and take the other vehicle. That carries over to women. A woman who is easy won't scratch his competitive itch. When she stops expressing her opinion and starts agreeing with everything he says, that's usually when a man starts to feel bored."
3. "A woman should never go looking for him or chase him down at three different places where he said he might be having a drink. If he says, 'Either I'll be at the Cheesecake Factory or some bar on 26th,' don't try to track him down. If you want to be his 'steady,' let him come track you down."
4. "My fiancée was the first woman to put me in my place. She constantly reminds me, 'Hey, nobody's forcing you to stay.' If I tried to BS my way out of a situation, she'd say, 'Let me save you the time and energy. Don't give me that s**t, because I ain't buying it.' I know if she caught me cheating she'd smack me over the head with a frying pan. And I respect her more than any woman I've ever known."
5. "If he can sum you up in one sentence, he'll be bored."
6. "Confidence is when you don't try to interpret or overly process everything that you are observing out loud. It prevents the relationship from progressing on a normal course. For example, every time I gave this woman flowers, she would remind me that her ex stopped bringing her flowers. What she really wanted to ask was whether I'd keep doing it in the future. That made me feel like she didn't really enjoy the flowers or appreciate the present moment with me."
7. "A woman shouldn't say, 'You don't call me enough,' or, 'You never tell me you love me.' As a woman, your best asset is to be unpredictable. He should never be able to figure you out. When he can always predict what you are going to do next, you've lost him as a long-term partner. He'll look for someone else whom he can't understand or control."
8. "If she feels strongly about something, she'll have a backbone. This woman is the woman he respects. Not a 'melba toast' cracker that crumbles with very little pressure."
9. "You have to seem like you aren't giving yourself fully. 'Here I am. Take me.' Men want to be kept guessing. Think about it. When a guy picks out a movie, he wants to be on the edge of his seat from the very beginning. If someone doesn't lose a limb or get shot and buildings aren't blown up all within the first 20 minutes, he'll think he got cheated out of 20 bucks."
10. "A woman shouldn't even crack a joke about marriage. I was on a second date with a girl, and we are both from Ireland. Back home we have a saying, 'If you kiss me you are going to have to marry me.' If you have the desire to get married, never let a man know that up front. If you do, it's the same as handing him a manual and telling him exactly how to dangle a carrot and play on your weaknesses."
I’m telling you…Read it!!! It’s a good one!
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